Tackling The Extra Home Clean Out
As a daughter and mother I recognize that I am currently a part of the sandwich generation. I have a fully furnished home. I’ve raised my children and helped them to launch into lives they love. I am currently on the side of an empty nest. I’ve spent 25+ years gathering things to serve my family but now I see the joy in giving my things away to my children for them to use.
But sometimes an older family member decides to downsize or move. Sometimes we are faced with an unexpected passing that forces these decisions on us as well. If that is the case for you and you are looking to support a loved one with support during their downsizing experience here are a few tips to consider during the process.
Sometimes the need to rent a storage unit is necessary
As someone who has a full home of furniture, I can’t possibly take on more items into my living space. If the sale of a home or vacating an apartment or assisted living unit is pushing a deadline to vacate by then considering a storage unit might be the healthiest choice. Use this space as a temporary support, not a long term solution. Set a time frame in your mind (3 – 6 months max) and stick to it. Prepay and sign a contract that holds you to that choice. Use tables to sort and decide how to bless others. There might be extended family that could benefit from items. Using a tote, bag or box as an easy way to label with individuals names will help the sorting process come together.
Find your patience
This is common sense, right? WRONG! As emotional creatures we bring a lot of emotions into situations like this. And remembering that the family member who is experiencing downsizing is very overwhelmed and nervous. There may be many unresolved emotions holding them back, fighting against them and those feelings may clouding their decision making process. Patience is key. And remember not everything is garbage or should be tossed. That’s not always the solution. There could be heirloom items that could be passed on. There are always stories attached to these items. Take a deep breath and ask the questions. “Where did this come from?” “Tell me about this item?” “Does this have sentimental value to you?” These types of questions can act as a very therapeutic approach to letting “stuff” go.
Look at possessions as the story of our lives
When we take the approach to better understand the “why” behind the “stuff” there is beauty. If items are being kept and have a financial element, I’d suggest using a tiny round sticker under the item to mark that they may have value. That keepsake may have a story, if that’s the case, grab a notebook and jot it down. Dates, names and the story might become valuable down the road. If these keepsakes are intended for a family member, mark them with a small piece of masking tape or a name so it will make transferring it on in the future easier. Nothing would make Grandma happier than knowing her priced possessions made it to the correct recipient.
Recognize trash as trash
Over the years I have found that the trash, donate, bless and sell boxes work perfect for establishing how to deal with all of the items.
- Trash is trash, move on.
- Donate items with value to outreach centers or donation centers. Maybe items that are specific or a niche could be donated to schools, churches, friends, businesses accordingly.
- Bless is the specific family member that will receive the item. Using a notebook to catalog a note about those items will help.
- Sell is exactly that.
I’ve spoken about the touch it once method and it’s critical to use your time wisely when helping to declutter or move out of an aged family member’s home. Helping them to make decisions is hard enough, but you don’t want to come back and touch items more than once if necessary.
Take the responsibility to remove the items that can be removed
If you’ve used the box technique then moving items out will be easier for you. Grab those donations and drop them off on your way home. If the bless box can come home with you, make it a priority to get those items to the correct people asap. Trash goes to the garbage cans or curb as soon as possible. Removing unnecessary trash from a space will not only make the space feel bigger but removing the decision fatigue from looking at it too many times is very healthy. If time allows for you to help with the selling of items, step up and commit. But if bringing home multiple items to sell into your living space brings you stress, perhaps a small storage unit might help to eliminate that burden.
Find the joy in the journey
Downsizing and or selling a family’s home is a difficult and trying experience. Keep a positive attitude and support where you can. And keeping in mind that someday you too will be faced with these feelings might help you to show empathy and grace during a trying time.
